Donald Trump Mourns The Union Dead At Gettysburg

A number of years ago, I don’t know exactly how many, but I don’t have to because really who cares, some very smart guys and their closest business associates cooked up a brilliant promotion for a beautiful new nation, a brand new nation, a completely original thing, nobody was even doing this before they started doing this, and it was based on this crazy idea, I mean it was crazy, right? Nobody ever heard of anything like this. I mean I didn’t and I have heard of a lot of crazy things in my day, you can ask anybody, and it was called liberty. Liberty. Everybody knows about liberty, right? I mean now. Now they do. Back then nobody even heard of it. And they dedicated this nation to this other crazy idea, and the idea was this, that everybody is equal. In other words, it’s so simple, if I make a buck, you make a buck, if I take a hit, you take a hit. We all get rich or nobody get’s rich. Wait a minute, does that sound right?

Anyway. So here we are a number of years later. I’m sure some of you in the lame stream press can tell us all exactly how many, because that’s what’s important to you. And now we got this great Civil War going on and it really is great, isn’t it? I mean it’s amazing, right? Nobody’s ever seen anything like it. If you put it on TV can you imagine the ratings it would get? They would be up there with Valley Forge. You heard about this, right? Valley Forge? That was a crazy thing. A lot of people don’t even know about this until very recently. Me for instance. In spite of the ratings. And what is going on now is we are going to find out is this nation of ours, or any other nation who came up with this crazy idea of liberty and this other thing about everybody is created equal, could they make a buck off it.

So here we are on this incredible battlefield and it really is incredible. I mean look around. Have you ever seen so many dead guys? I mean you should have been here in July. That was a lotta dead guys. I don’t think anybody’s ever seen so many dead guys. Mike, you got a number on that? Never mind. So I am here with all you beautiful people who love me and support me and a few others who are maybe not so much, and we are going to dedicate a little piece of that field, actually not so little, a pretty big piece of that field, maybe one of the biggest pieces of a field anybody has ever seen, because we are talking about a lot of dead soldiers, who died and got killed here. And this is a good thing. Dead soldiers deserve respect. Personally, I prefer the soldiers who don’t get killed to the ones who do get killed. But maybe that’s just me. You would have to ask around.

[note to self: I hope somebody is writing this down because I didn’t.]

The Fake News, those disgusting people, I won’t even mention their networks but they know who they are, they will probably not even be reporting this story, they will find something else to whine about. But they know. Deep down in their sad disgusting hearts they totally know.

Because these dead guys here, they gave the last full measure of devotion except for the one about staying alive and not getting killed like a loser and an idiot. And we are going to say, “Hey, you guys did not die in vain, even if all you really had to do was get a note from your doctor saying you had debiliting bone spurs that hurt like hell when you marched around and got shelled by artillery.”

And now I’ve got a warning for all you out there who do not get with the program: that this government of the right kind of people, by the right kind of people, for the right kind of people shall arrange to remain in power for a very very long time (in spite of the fact there are a lot haters and losers out there who say we stole it from right under their noses) because there is this well known fact that possession is nine tenths of the law, maybe more than nine tenths, nine and a half tenths, nine and three-quarters, who the hell knows, but you can be sure of one thing: you aren’t getting it back any time soon. So don’t hold your breath waiting.